Cruel Curve
by Angels Kiss
Summary: Kay must face the memories of Harmony after a painful circumstance brings her home *Complete*
1. Prologue

Authors Note: I posted this here a long time ago and then took it down for some editing and reworking. I hope you like it and reviewing is at your discretion.   
As always the characters (except Michael) do not belong to me.  
  
Prologue  
Life had thrown the young girl a cruel curve. Here she stood only twenty-one years of age and she was already widowed. As she collapsed at the open grave she began to sob.   
  
A warm hand on her back pulled her out of the memories that flooded her mind. She stood and smiled sadly at the man from her distant past. She turned one last time dropping a rose that had been watered by her tears into the grave.  
  
She whispered one last oath of love and blew a kiss to her dead friend, lover, and husband. She turned and grasped the strong hand of her childhood friend, silently praying for strength to get through the rough times.  
  



	2. Chapter 1

Authors Note: As always these characters (except Michael) do not belong to me.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Kay Bennet-Carlson stared into her coffee cup silently. Thoughts pouring through her mind at an alarming rate. What to do with her home, where to go now, how to pay for the funeral, and how to live with out her husband? The beautiful man she had placed in the ground that morning was no longer there to wrap his warm arms around her and whisper words of comfort in her ear.  
  
Her body was once again wracked with sobs as she thought of her husband's loving words and soft caresses. She glanced up brought back to reality as her mother took the coffee from her shaking hands.   
  
"Kay," Grace Bennet said softly, "why don't you go up to your room and nap for a while? It might do you some good."  
  
Kay shook her head. She couldn't sleep. Who would protect her while she slept, while the nightmares ran through her mind? She pressed a fist to her mouth suppressing a gasp as the mental pain ran through her mind.  
  
She looked behind her as firm footsteps entered the kitchen. Miguel, her best friend as a child. He had come and gotten her, had pulled her away from her husbands graveside. Had whispered how unhealthy the cold air and ground were.  
  
"How are you doing Kay?" his soft deep voice asked. So many other questions were buried in those words, but mostly an inquiry of how she would survive these hard times.  
  
Kay softly stood up, turning away from Miguel. He had abandoned her long ago and was of no help now. Unless of course he had power to bring her husband, Michael home and she knew that only God could do that.   
  
God the being that had deserted her in those last moments of Michael's life. Those last painful moments as his life hung in limbo. The last moments when her screams tore through the air.  
  
Kay walked up the stairs thinking about it all and deciding to take her mother's suggestion. Sleep, she needed sleep. Her mind so clouded by fatigue. No matter what nightmares came to her she must sleep. She collapsed on the bed, her bed, so empty and alone. And slowly she drifted off to sleep to face the monsters in her mind alone and defenseless.  
  
~~~~~  
  
*Dancing, such beautiful dancing. Swirling, twirling bodies surrounding her. Sweeping her away from her lover. Separating them forever. The bodies finally part allowing her a glimpse of the beautiful face that she woke to each morning. Horribly mutilated and deformed. So she did the most natural thing. Scream*  
  
Kay woke, her body shivering, and yet drenched in sweat. She turned to the place beside her, patting, touching, hoping to feel a warm body beside her. Nothing, empty, so cold. Another scream forced from her body and then crying, a soft sobbing as footsteps pound towards her room.  
  
Caught up in a hug. Kay closes her eyes trying to imagine the familiar scent of Michael, but all she can smell is the light soapy fragrance of someone else. She opens her eyes only to look into an unfamiliar pair of brown eyes. Another scream only to be stopped by a gentle hand on her mouth and a quiet shush.  
  
"It's only me Kay." spoke the voice, "Me, Miguel."   
  
She grasps the strong powerful hand in her own desperate grip. "Don't leave me," Kay begs, "please what ever you do don't leave me."   
  
Miguel settles himself and lets her relax in his arms. He felt her body relax and began to drift off to sleep himself when she began speaking.  
  
Miguel felt chills go through his body as Kay took his hand and gently kissed it. The soft feel of her lips again his knuckles made him shiver. Then she softly spoke, "I'm so glad you're here. I dreamed you died Michael. I dreamed that they took you away."   
  
Miguel waited for her to finish and then looked down. Her eyes were closed with a look of blissful peace. He dreaded when morning would come and she would find that it was no dream.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Kay opened her eyes, blinking again the bright sun the filtered through her curtains. She sighed softly and nestled into the strong arms around her. She was so glad that it had all been a dream.  
  
She turned her head, closing her eyes, and softly touched her lips to those of her husband. A loud gasp filled the room and Kay quickly opened her eyes and look to the door.   
  
There stood her cousin Charity. The beautiful, blonde hair that she had envied was now shoulder length and the girl's skin seemed even paler and more fragile, but she was obviously still the same girl.  
  
Kay turned to look at whom she had kissed and was surprised to see Miguel. She quickly moved from his arms, waking him in the process, and out of the room. She sought shelter in the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Collapsing to the ground she began to scan her mind for the happenings of the night before.  
  
She had dreamed, something frightening, and Michael, no not Michael, but Miguel had come and comforted her. The realization of the truth stung like someone pouring salt into open wounds.  
  
Loud knocking on the door. Trying to enter her thoughts and yelling to open up. Kay gazed around her feeling dizzy and light-headed. Silently she crawled to the toilet where she began to retch.  
  
  



	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Same as before applies  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Kay stood under the hot spray of the shower. Scrubbing and washing away the grime of memories that flooded her mind. She hoped that the scalding water would clear her thoughts.  
  
The loud knocks on the door had ceased soon after the shower had been turned on, but she knew they were still there waiting. They would spring the moment she stepped out and she didn't want that.   
  
Truthfully she would rather be home wrapped in the comforter on her bed. Taking in the spice of Michael's cologne and imagining the nights spent whispering secrets and making love.  
  
Kay silently turned off the water knowing that it couldn't wash away the wonderful memories she had. Wrapping in a towel, Kay carefully opened the door. Scanning the hall and finding no one her feet padded silently on the carpet towards her room.   
  
She closed the door behind her and turned leaning against it. Quickly she put on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, ignoring her hair and makeup all together. There was no one there who really mattered.  
  
She stealthily made her way down the stairs and out the front door. She had to see him, had to be there at the freshly dug grave.  
  
When she reached the cemetery she made her way for the tombstone. Michael Carlson, loving husband. Kay read over the words bitterly. No longer was he her loving husband, but a corpse who lay dead in the ground. Kay let the tears wash down her face before whispering goodbye and making her way towards town.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Kay closed her eyes as the people gathered around her. Since the moment she had stepped in the door her family had been asking her a stream of questions that never seemed to end. She wanted to scream and throw her hands in the air, to tell everyone she was alright and just leave her alone, but she couldn't because they would all swarm her even more.  
  
Kay let herself be led to the couch where she sat silently, waiting for everyone to voice his or her concerns, "Why did you leave without telling us Kay?" Grace asked an edge of disappointment in her voice.   
  
Charity's look of disgust came close to throwing Kay of the edge. What right had Charity to look like that? Had she felt pain? She knew that everyone would bring up her mother's death, but that couldn't be anywhere near losing her true beloved.  
  
Kay leaned her head back and closed her eyes feigning sleep. If everyone believed that she was resting they would leave her alone. Slowly the room became silent as each person exited. Kay pretended for a few more minutes and then cracked her eyes open. She quickly shut them as she caught sight of Miguel.   
  
She wanted to curse and scream. Couldn't he leave her alone? He had been a constant thorn in her side for many years.  
  
"I know you're awake," he said firmly, "there's no point in pretending with me. I've known you for to long."  
  
Kay opened her eyes fully and glared at him. Too much hurt had come from him. To many scars had been left on her soul because of his thoughtlessness. She wanted nothing, but her peace to live alone. She wanted nothing, but to remain a spinster for she could never betray Michael in that way.  
  
Kay stood and moved for the stairs, turning to say only one word, "Leave." Glass could have shattered and wood splintered from the hate in that one command.  
  
Miguel stood and moved toward her, grabbing her arm. "You can't get rid of me that simply." he said his voice gruff with emotion.  
  
Kay took her chance to run up the stairs when Charity's voice echoed through the house, "Miguel, where are you."   
  
Charity entered the room just as Kay reached the top of the stairs. "Where is Kay?" Charity asked holding out a cup of coffee, "Her mother wanted me to give this to her."   
  
~~~~~  
  
Kay sat along the wall, her ear pressed to it hoping to catch the arguement on the other side. She felt like a teenager again, plotting and planning to win Miguel's heart. This time though it was not Miguel proclaiming his love for Charity, but the whip of Charity proclaiming her distrust of Miguel with Kay in the house.  
  
As Charity so lovingly put it, "I know why she's here Miguel. She wants you back, the kiss this morning, everything has been leading up to this. Don't you remember the pain she put us through? I won't let her do this to us again. She's a low life slut who could care less if her husband is dead."  
  
Those words had stung. It felt as if Charity had poured salt on Kay's open wounds. If Charity had only known how much she had and still loved Michael she would have wished herself in hell.  
  
As Kay sat thinking about these things she hadn't noticed the silence from the other side of the wall. Kay jumped as the door was flung open. On the other side stood Charity her hair flying around her head and her eyes looking Satanic.  
  
The words she spoke sent chills up her spine, "So Kay, are you back to your old ways already?"  
  
Kay sat on the floor staring back at Charity. She couldn't believe the demon that was looking at her. Charity normally seemed so composed, but obviously a lot had changed in the past three years.  
  
"So Kay what were you doing?" Charity asked again, "Testing the wall for termites?"   
  
Kay began to respond, but Charity broke through, "God Kay, I thought you would have grown out of your little obsession. Miguel is mine and you can't have him."   
  
Kay let Charity finish her temper tantrum and then began to speak. "I don't want your boyfriend Charity, in fact I don't see why you would want him either." Kay glanced up to see Miguel behind Charity his face contorted as if Kay had just stabbed him.  
  
Kay's voice became louder until she was screaming, "I want to be gone Charity, I want to wake up right now in bed with Michael, I want him to promise that this is nothing but a nightmare and rock me back to sleep. Most of all I want you and Miguel out of my life." Kay hit a high note with this last word and then collapsed against the wall.  
  
She heard the steps of other people running up the stairs and looked up to see the rage in her mother's face and the concern in her sister and father's eyes.   
  
Kay's eyes returned to the rage the was apparent on her mother's face and her voice became childish, "Mommy, why can't you just love me." Kay turned her face hating the begging tone it took.  
  
"Please," she said more calmly, "please just leave me alone." Kay heard the door softly shut and then whispered a final plea, "I just want to be loved, it's not that much to ask."  
  
"You're right it isn't." Jessica said kneeling beside her sister. Kay glanced up into the sorrowful eyes surprised that anyone was still in the room.   
  
"Wanna talk about it Kay?"  
  
  



	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Same as before applies  
  
Chapter 3  
"I met him the day I got to San Francisco." Began Kay, hesitating before she continued, "I found out later that dad had hired him to track me. I had no place to stay and he did. I don't know why, but I agreed to stay with him."  
  
Kay looked around the Book Café, distracted by the activity around her. Jessica had brought them here in an attempt to get away from their family. Kay looked up at Jessica as she loudly cleared  
her throat.  
  
Kay looked back down at her coffee and continued, "I had such an empty, lonely place in my heart, but slowly Michael filled that. First he would comfort me when I woke up with nightmares. He would hold and rock me to sleep and then it escalated. His hugs became caresses, his caresses kisses and then one night I spent it in his bed."   
  
Kay watched as the tears fell into her coffee. She pushed it away before choking the rest of her story out. "Every night he would cuddle to close to his side and I would tell him about my past. About Hecuba and losing my soul, about trying to destroy Miguel and Charity's relationship and every night he just held me closer telling me it was alright."   
  
Her tears were flowing freely as she finished her story. "I thought that I could never love after Hecuba took my soul, but I guess God decided to return it himself. After a few months we were married and less than a year later I had lost his love." Kay banged her hand on the table in frustration, "Damn it Jessica why do I lose everything?"  
*****  
Kay sat on the loveseat, her legs under her. She had dozed slightly while everyone else had been watching a movie, but now she took to analyzing each couple.  
  
Jessica and Reese sat on the couch next to each other. Jessica had hinted at some type of relationship between the two, but now Kay understood completely. Reese had his arm slung around Jessica's shoulder and she had her head snuggled into his shoulder.  
  
Kay wanted to laugh as she thought back to when she had answered the door. Kay's mind told her that it was Reese, but her senses denied it. The thick-framed glasses had been replaced by wire-rimmed type and the normally well cut hair had been grown out into a slightly shaggy look, which fit his features.   
  
Kay had always felt somewhat guilty about just leaving Reese with the belief that she had reciprocated his feelings, but as she watched her sister the guilt was replaced with understanding. If she had stayed Jessica would most likely never have had this chance with Reese.  
  
Kay's eyes moved over to her parents. She couldn't believe the tension between them. She wondered if her arrival had brought it or if that had been there long before. She remembered the way that they had cuddled and laughed when she was younger, but now they seemed afraid to touch each other. They were trying to sit as far apart from each other and both sat as stiff as corn stalks.  
  
Dull, lifeless ones had replaced her mother's glowing eyes. There was no emotion present except for the every now and then glare towards Kay or loving glance towards Charity.   
  
Kay still wanted her mother's love, but she mostly given up on it before she had left. She thought that maybe this event would bring them close, but no such luck.  
  
Finally Kay looked towards Charity and Miguel. Both were positioned on the floor with Charity's head lying in Miguel's lap. At one point in time Kay would have wished that she was in the same position, but now she was just happy with the fact that the couple had made up.  
  
Charity seemed intent upon the movie and Miguel was stroking her hair, but seemed somewhat removed from the situation around him. Kay now understood the love behind the caresses and smiled sadly. She remembered times like that. She turned her attention back to the movie to escape her memories.  
  
Unknown to Kay, Miguel had been watching her out of the corner of his eye. He had seen the way she tugged the braid she wore in her hair, the way she had bit her lower lip as she concentrated on the movie, and the way her eyes had fluttered as she drifted into a sleep.  
  
He couldn't believe that his best friend had returned. He had missed Kay while she was gone, but Charity had seemed to take up so much time that he was never able to write or call her.  
  
He had cried for her when Charity had told him the news. He had actually wept when he heard she had lost her husband. He understood the pain that must come with the loss from his mother's sadness, but now that she was home he wanted the same girl that she had been in high school.  
  
He knew that it couldn't be the same. Her face was streaked with anguish and exhaustion. It had taken on a whole other mature look as if the years had brought more struggles than she could possibly understand.   
  
He had understandably been angry after he had found out about her schemes, but that had died down after a while. He could see that his own selfishness had gone into the bad decisions Kay had made. He had forgotten his friend just because some other girl had come into his life. The day she left had been hell for him though. Chief Bennett had known where she was, but felt best that no one else knew until she was settled comfortable.   
  
Miguel thought back to the day that the letter had arrived. He felt elation as he opened it, but soon his happiness became tinged with jealousy. He could imagine the smile on Kay's face as she wrote the letter. So much joy resided in her words as she told him about her marriage.  
  
As Miguel returned to the present he caught Kay's eyes. She looked at him for a moment and smiled sadly at him. He bit down on his tongue as he felt the happiness that came with that smile. He looked back down at Charity and went back to stroking her hair, admonishing himself for the thoughts that flooded his mind.  
  



	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Same as before applies  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Kay sat up quickly and looked around her. The TV showed nothing but blue and everyone was in some moment of sleep except her parents who had obviously went upstairs.   
  
She stood and stretched making her way to the stairs. Running her hand over the banner she found the scratch of initials that she drawn in as a child. So long ago, she thought, and so far away.   
  
She continued her way up the stairs running her fingers light up the wood. Kay jumped and yelped as a cold hand clamped around her wrist. She gasped in a breath of air and looked to see who it was.   
  
Miguel, only Miguel. No one here to get her and take her away. Kay calmed her breathing and then glanced back down at Miguel offering him tentative smile.   
  
Miguel had jerked his hand back at her reaction and was sheepishly rubbing his hands together, "I'm sorry about that Kay. I guess I didn't realize that I would frighten you."   
  
Kay shook her head slightly, "Don't worry Miguel, I've just been jumpy lately. Regarding the circumstances I guess it's not really a surprise." Kay finished bitterly.   
  
"Listen Kay," began Miguel slowly, "It has been a long time and well..." he ran his hand through his hair and clenched his jaw nervously, "...well I was wondering if you wanted to maybe talk? Maybe we could meet at the Book Cafe and just talk?"   
  
Kay looked in Charity's direction, "Listen Miguel as much as I would love to Charity didn't seem to happy about this morning. It probably wouldn't be such a good idea."   
  
Miguel began to speak again, but stopped as Kay turned and began up the stairs again. She stopped short and turned, "Miguel I really want to thank you." her voice took on a innocent and sad lilt, "I really appreciate you comforting me last night. I have so many bad nightmares and well sometimes I can't handle them."   
  
Kay walked back down the stairs towards him, "I guess I owe you. Meet me at the Book Cafe tomorrow at 12:00 sharp." Kay quickly kissed him on the cheek and whispered another thank you in his ears before going up to her bedroom.   
  
Miguel watched as Kay made her way up the stairs and then sat down on the step. He touched the spot on his cheek quickly. He had felt chills up his spine as she had kissed him. The air of her whisper against his neck and ear had made it all the worse.   
  
He didn't know what had happened to him. The combined jealousy with the fact that she had loved someone else and the feelings he had when she smiled or looked at him had his mind in a confusing whirl.   
  
He glanced over towards Charity and gave his mind a mental slap. Charity, his fragile beauty, couldn't take the pain of losing him. He knew she wouldn't take it well. He stood and walked towards her. He wouldn't do it; he just wouldn't go to the Book Cafe. He knew how much it would hurt Kay, but he felt obligated to Charity.   
  
He would stay away from Kay, he would leave her alone, he would protect Charity and he hoped he would keep his sanity.  
*****  
Kay sat in a booth sipping on an Italian soda and occasionally glancing at her watch. Miguel was thirty minutes late, but unlike when she was younger it didn't hurt her. She finally understood that some things in his life took precedence over her. She felt a bit miffed at being stood up like this because she had other things to do.   
  
Kay looked down at her ring as she twirled it around her finger. It was so beautiful. It had been a cheaper diamond, but that hadn't fazed her. The love that had been presented with the ring made it all the more beautiful.   
  
She glanced up outside remembering the promises Michael had made of a bigger and better diamond, but Kay had only smiled and given him a light slap on the arm telling him it was the best she would ever have.   
  
As her eyes focused and she came back to reality she saw Miguel pacing on the sidewalk outside the cafe. She glanced back at her watch, this time forty-five minutes after the decided time.   
  
Kay stood and grabbed her purse, dropping her soda in the trash as she walked out. Kay felt Miguel jump slightly as she placed her hand on his shoulder.   
  
"Calm down Miguel." she began, "Having trouble remembering how to operate the door?" she asked playfully, but the question only elicited a blush from him.   
  
Kay frowned slightly, "Listen Miguel, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but it was your idea to meet. If you still want to talk we can, but well, I've got some stuff I need to go do."   
  
Miguel looked at Kay and then back down, after repeating this he just shook his head. Kay gave him a small smile, "Okay then. I'll see you later." Kay waited for his response, but after getting none turned around to leave.   
  
'What is his problem,' she thought, 'he seems so distant. I'm trying to connect with him, but it seems impossible.' Kay continued towards her car, but was stopped by pounding footsteps approaching her.   
  
"Kay wait," Miguel said, "why don't I come with you?"  
*****  
Kay sat across from the real estate agent looking through binders full of homes. The night before she had lain in bed debating with herself about staying in Harmony. After thinking about it she had decided yes. She couldn't go back to Seattle and confront the death and pain that stained the walls and carpets of her home. She was selling and staying here permanently.  
  
Miguel sat next to her silent, his body filled with tension. He had seen the way the agent had looked at him and Kay. Considering and nodding her head as if pleased with the new married couple. She had even mentioned that she herself was a newlywed. Miguel had felt the blush across his cheek while Kay had dismissed the little mistake with a flick of her hand. Miguel was surprised that she hadn't mentioned something about Michael.  
  
Miguel looked over at Kay as he heard her sharp intake of breath. She stared down at a small cottage and on closer inspection Miguel saw that it was the same house Sheridan had lived in.  
  
Kay stared down at the picture, tracing the picture with her fingernail. The perfect home, the home she had dreamed about with Michael. Kay looked up at the agent, "I'll take it," she said breathlessly, "this one right here."  
  
The agent seemed surprised, "But ma'am don't you want to look at it? And it's only a rental."  
  
Kay shook her head, "I don't care. This is the house I want."  
  
The agent tried to comment again and began to point out something better, but Miguel stopped her. "Don't bother," he said quickly as he stood, pulling Kay up with him, "we'll just go somewhere else."  
  
Kay tried to break free of his grasp, but he continued to pull her out. Once they exited the office Miguel let go of her arm.  
  
"How dare you." Kay spit at him, "I wanted that home. Where else can I go in Harmony?"  
  
Miguel just told her to be quiet and then motioned to the car, "Let's go. I'll take you to someone who can get the cottage for you."  
  
Kay stomped to the car, opened the door, and got in. She waited for Miguel to join her and then started the car. The whole way she remained silent while Miguel gave her directions every so often. "Stop." He said quickly and then jumped out of the vehicle before it stopped moving completely.  
  
Kay stepped out of the car, frowning. 'How would this help her?' she thought, 'Miguel had been an idiot just leaving like that.' Kay followed Miguel up to the front door and sulked against the side of the house while he knocked on the door.  
  
"Hey little brother." Said the deep voice as the door was answered, "What brings you over this way?" Kay looked up in surprise at the person standing in the doorway. Another surprise gaze met hers as their eyes locked.  
  
"Oh, I didn't know that you would still be here."   
  
"She decided to stay Luis," began Miguel, "and we need to talk to Sheridan."  
Luis glanced back at Kay with a questioning look on his face. Kay just shrugged and he ushered them in. "I'll go get her." Luis said as he walked to the back of the house.  
  
Kay looked at Miguel, "Why did you bring me here?" Miguel hushed her and Kay tried to speak as Sheridan walked into the room. Drying her hands on a floury apron she smiled at Kay and Miguel.  
  
"Sorry I'm such a mess," she began, "Luis has been trying to teach me some decent cooking." Sheridan settled herself on the couch and continued, "How can I help you two."  
  
Kay began to say something, but Miguel cut her off, "Sheridan I want to talk too you about your cottage."  



	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Same as before applies  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Miguel glanced over at Kay. One hand gripped the steering wheel as the other fiddled with the knobs on the radio.   
  
Miguel chuckled quietly as a lock of hair fell down into Kay's eyes. Her face began to turn red as she blew at it, hoping that it would move away from her eyes.  
  
Miguel gently reached over and brushed the strands away. Kay turned and smiled softly thanking him with her eyes.  
  
He smiled back and then gently rubbed his fingers together trying to remember the feel of her soft hair. It had been silky between his fingers. Quite different from Charity's, which was so fragile, it seemed to break at the slightest touch. He sat his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. He just didn't want to think about that. It didn't seem right to think of Charity when his mind seemed to pulse with thoughts of Kay's smile, hair, and everything else that made her so beautiful.  
  
Kay glanced over at Miguel and began to speak softly, "I'm extremely grateful for what you did." She cleared her throat and then continued, "I shouldn't have gotten so upset, but well when you pulled me out of there like that I felt like a teenager again. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I'm sure you can understand, but I don't have to many good memories of that time."  
  
"Anyways, the reason I wanted the cottage so badly was because it reminded me of Michael." Miguel noted the glazed look her eyes took on as she drifted into a memory, "We always planned on building a home like that; a place where we could raise our children." She glanced over at Miguel, "I'm sure you understand. You and Charity probably have plans like that."  
  
Miguel swallowed hard and nodded at her. He couldn't stand this; it was enough to make him jealous knowing that Kay had loved someone so much, but it also made him sick to think that Charity and him had once had plans like that. Now all he could imagine was he and Kay having children and raising them in a wonderful home.  
  
Kay smiled at him, "You're such a great friend Miguel. I'm glad to have someone to talk too. It seems like it has been so long."  
  
Miguel froze as Kay said this. He could remember all the times he had ignored her; all the times he had told her she was, "such a great friend," and then ignored her once again to be with Charity.  
  
It burned to hear those words. They were so sharp, exactly like knives driving into his heart. What an idiot he had been to put her through such pain.  
  
Kay's voice broke through his thoughts, "Miguel, are you okay." Her trusting smile only drove the knife deeper, "You drifted for a second. Thought I had lost you there."  
  
Miguel nodded and tried to return the smile, but just couldn't. Kay's grin began to slip away and a worried expression took over, "Are you sure you're okay. I didn't say anything to upset you did I?"   
  
Kay pulled up next to the Lopez-Fitzgerald house and stopped, "Is there anything wrong Miguel?"  
  
Miguel couldn't take that look of worry any longer. He unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the door and began to step out. Kay's hand shot out and grip his arm firmly, "Miguel, please tell me. What's wrong?"  
  
Miguel pulled Kay's hand away and then looked back at her. He just had to; there was no stopping it. He leaned into the car and gently kissed her on the lips. As he felt her body tense he pulled back and ran up the walk to the door.  
  
Kay watched as he went and then felt her body go numb. She stared at her hands and then dropped her head onto her chest. 'Not now,' she thought, 'God not now.' Her whole body felt weighed down with guilt. She tried to deny the kiss that had just been passed between her and Miguel. The small part of her mind that remembered the nights she had spent yearning for him cried with joy, but the other part cried.   
  
She couldn't desert her husband's memory so soon. It was just too much for her, but she didn't want to hurt Miguel either. He was and always would be her best friend. She cradled her head in her hands. What could she do? What could she possibly do?  
  
*****  
  
Kay lay on her bed, a photo album in front of her. She quietly flipped pages, every now and then stopping to read a caption underneath a picture. As she got further back she noticed that her smiles became weak and then completely nonexistent and then the small blurbs beneath the picture got bitter.  
  
Kay couldn't believe how horrible she had felt. Most of it felt like such a distant dream and now history was repeating itself. This time though she and Miguel had switched positions. She buried her face into the comforter and let out a large sigh.  
  
"Penny for your thoughts." Said Jessica as she walked in holding two steaming cups of tea. She settled herself on the floor next to the bed and patted the spot beside her. Kay slipped off the bed and sat on the floor. She gently positioned her legs in a lotus position and the picked up her cup of tea.  
  
Jessica laughed and then smiled, "I never understood how you could do that. But I guess you got all the athletic abilities and I," Jessica glanced over at Kay slyly before continuing, "and I got all the brains."  
  
Kay calmly placed her cup down, grabbed a pillow of the bed, and hit Jessica over the head with it. Jessica laughed at her sister and feigned surrender.   
  
She took a sip from her cup and then looked back at Kay, "You know I feel so weird sitting here talking with you. We never had a decent conversation when we were younger, but now it's just like we finally understand each other."   
  
Kay watched as Jessica slipped into thought. "Hey sis, how about a penny for your thoughts." Kay smiled as Jessica looked up at her, "I'd offer more, but I'm a little short on change at the moment."  
  
Jessica smiled faintly at her sister's joke, "I'm just thinking of when we were teenagers." Jessica stared at Kay's face for a moment. Trying to decide whether or not she wanted to tell her secret.   
  
"You do know I was jealous of you." Jessica looked down at the warm cup she held in her hands, "I hated the feeling because I wanted to be your best friend. That's the way the movies and books said it should be. So I hated myself and then took the anger out on you."  
  
Jessica cleared her throat debating whether or not she should continue, "Then Charity showed up on our doorstep and I found my chance. I saw how much mom loved her and I decided that was my chance to get some attention."   
  
Jessica's voice took on bitter undertones and Kay realized how similar they sounded, "Mom didn't care if I liked Charity or not. All she cared was how you didn't treat her right. I hated you even more."  
  
Jessica could feel the tears pooling in her eyes and she wiped them away, "I'm sorry Kay, I'm sorry that I drove you away. I'm sorry that we all drove you away."  
  
Kay took her baby sister in her arms and hugged her. She whispered softly about how she didn't care and that it was the past. Kay could truly say she hated her mother at this moment. She had put so many people through so much pain and never apologized for it.  
  
Jessica looked up at Kay, "It's your turn. What's on your mind?"  
  
Kay brushed her hair out of her face, "Well Jessica, I got my wish. Only it's about two years to late." Kay sighed gently before continuing, "I've made a mess of things. I'm not ready for a new relationship yet and my return is going to dissolve Charity and Miguel's. He kissed me today Jessica and it was more than just friendly."  
  
Kay balled her fists in frustration, "Does he expect me to drop the feelings I had for Michael. I just buried him four days ago and already he thinks I can get over it. I may have moped after Miguel for four years, but Michael returned my soul and loved me more than I've ever felt in less than a week."  
  
This time Jessica hugged Kay and whispered comforting words to her. For both of them the world seemed to have crumbled to the ground, but now was the chance to start fresh and new.  
  
"Kay I'm not jealous anymore and I think we can keep each other from making mistakes." Jessica said softly, "I think that this is our chance to make a pact. We'll try to keep each other safe from hurt and when we aren't always able to we'll share our problems over a cup of tea."  
  
Kay smiled at Jessica and softly uttered one word, "Agreed."  



	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Same as before applies  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Kay stood, hesitating before walking up the path. She knocked on the door and then turned around waiting for someone to answer.  
  
She lost herself in thought and jumped as a deep voice spoke up behind her. She turned to face Miguel and smiled at him softly.  
  
"Hey Miguel," she began as her face became serious, "I need to speak with you about a few things. Do you think we can walk to the Book Café and speak about it?"  
  
Miguel nodded his head and both began the short walk. Kay attempted to say something, but didn't know how to start. Miguel finally broke the silence, "So what did you want to talk about?"  
  
Kay smiled gratefully at Miguel, "Well first I want to thank you again for speaking with Sheridan, but" Kay stopped and jokingly batter her eyelashes, "I'm having my things shipped here and I'll need some help moving it all in."  
  
Miguel silently opened the door of the Café. He followed behind Kay letting it close behind him. They took a seat and Miguel stared across at Kay. He memorized each detail of her posture, face, and hair in his mind. He could see the question in her eyes and he silently nodded his head.  
  
Kay smiled brightly and leaned over the table to hug Miguel. As she wrapped her arms around him she saw his eyes glaze over. She released and sat back quickly.  
  
"Miguel," Kay began trying to catch his eyes, "we need to talk about our friendship." She took his hand trying to keep his attention.  
  
"I know what you are hoping and," Kay paused, "well I'd be lying if I said I didn't want the same, but that was two years ago. Too much has happened and we just can't go back."  
  
She felt his hand go slack and watched his eye close as if to block out the pain. She reached out to pat his arm, to comfort him, but he flinched away. She drew back her hand and wrapped her fingers around her coffee cup.  
  
Kay waited silently, hoping, praying that Miguel would speak. Her fingers tightened and she heard the Styrofoam crack and squeak under her touch. She let her head rise slowly as Miguel began to speak.  
  
"You could have stayed," Kay could hear the tension in his jaw, "After I had time to think about it I understood. God Kay, I found out how much I truly wanted you."  
  
Miguel violently spit out his next words, "I hate him. He took you away from us and then left you on your own."  
  
Kay exploded at the final comment, "Don't you ever say that. Don't you ever say anything against Michael. He was better than you could ever be."  
  
Kay felt tears flowing freely down her cheeks, "He loved me. He loved others. He loved people so much that he lost his life so that others could live. Do you understand that? He brought me back from near death and warmed me to life with his love."  
  
Kay let herself cry. She let herself release the pain and emotion that had been bottled up for weeks now. She felt embarrassed by this show of emotion, but it had been to long, she needed to cry. The Café was thankfully empty and the silence drew down around the companions.  
  
*****  
  
Kay's soft voice echoed through the quiet room, "I'll tell you what happened Miguel, I'll tell you how he died protecting me. Then maybe you'll be grateful to him."   
  
Miguel felt his throat clench as he swallowed hard. He hadn't meant to say those things, but he just couldn't hold it back any longer. He had felt as if his heart had been ripped in two when she left and then he had lost all hope the day they received news about her new husband. He was bitter that someone had taken the love that should have been his.  
  
Kay began as Miguel reached over and patted her hand. She felt the need to explain what had really happened that night.  
  
"I never expected life to be perfect. I was married to an FBI agent and life didn't come easy with the career. Not long after we got married we had to move to Seattle from San Francisco." Kay cleared her throat and then continued, "He had received threats before, but now they were directed towards me. The people he had turned in wanted to hurt the best thing in his life. I knew what I was taking on, but it still scared me."  
  
"Life in Seattle returned to normal and we spent our days happily. Then about four months after we moved he got assigned to a drug case in the area. The feds had thought it was a simple little crack down, but as Michael got deeper into the group he found that it was bigger. The group reached clear to the drug cartel that wanted Sheridan dead and beyond. We thought he was safe, but someone had leaked information."  
  
Kay's voice began to rise and grow louder, "That night I woke up with a gun to my head and whispered warning in my ear. 'Scream and you die.' He whispered quietly. I didn't dare, I had to protect him." Kay's voice took on a bitter edge, "Obviously it didn't work."  
  
"Before I knew what had happened the gun was knocked out of the man's hand. Then it came" Kay's voice become almost frantic, "Have you ever heard a gunshot at point blank range? Your ears ring for hours."  
  
Kay became silent and the quiet consumed everything in the room. Miguel waited for her to continue, allowing her the chance to comprehend what she was saying.  
  
Kay's voice cracked with emotion as she continued to speak, "One moment he was lying next to me sleeping and the next moment I was holding him in my arms. The last word on his lips was my name and then he died. I screamed then Miguel, God did I scream. I held him in my arms while his blood pooled around us and I shrieked for all that I was worth."  
  
"It's amazing how certain memories can fade, like the fact that the next twenty four hours have disappeared from my mind completely, but that five minutes is just as vivid in my mind as every." Kay's voice fell quiet as her story ended.  
  
Miguel silently watched her as she let her head drop to her arms and rest on the table. He felt like scum at that moment. She had lost so much and all he did was complain about his own feelings. He slowly stood up and crossed to her side of the table. He took her in his arms and hugged her, allowing the tears to flow freely. This time the feeling was purely from friend to friend, but in the back of his mind he vowed to win her back to life and happiness.  



	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Same as before applies  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Jessica entered the Café and stopped in the door. She couldn't believe the beautiful picture that Miguel and her sister made. His head bowed over Kay's sleeping form, which was gripped tightly in his arms. She resumed walking across the room. Her steps deliberate, but hesitant.  
  
"Miguel," Jessica said softly, breaking the silence in the room, "Miguel, I need to speak with you."  
  
Miguel's head rose slowly and his eyes focused on Jessica. She could see that his eyes were red rimmed from crying and she wondered what had passed between the two.  
  
"Miguel, something happened to..." Jessica trailed off, unsure of what to say, but continued as Miguel's eyes directed her to move on "...something happened to Charity. We were out grocery shopping for mom and well..."   
  
Jessica felt her own eyes begin to water and she desperately tried to flick away the tears that were gathering in her eyes. It was true that Charity had sometimes stood in the way of Jessica's own wants, but she was still her cousin and there was still some love left in her heart.   
  
Jessica seemed to choke on her last few words, "She just collapsed Miguel. She just fell down right there in the aisle."  
  
Jessica studied Miguel's face. His features were drawn and his eyes spoke as if he had experienced more pain than was proper for his age. As he comprehended what had happened his face took on an ashen tone.   
  
He gazed down at Kay's face. She had finally drifted off into a peaceful sleep and now he would have to wake her. He gently sat her up and whispered her name.  
  
Long eyelashes fluttered as she opened her eyes and a look of confusion entered them. Slowly the realization of what had happened that day entered her mind and she sat up quickly. She blinked her eyes as Jessica entered her view and smiled.  
"What's going on?" asked Kay, "Why did you wake me?"  
  
Kay watched the glance shared between Miguel and her sister. "Tell me what's wrong. Please" She felt stupid whining like this, but it was obvious that something bad had happened. Jessica's face was pale and Miguel looked like his world had come crashing around him.  
  
"Damn it," Kay screamed this time, "tell me what is wrong, I have a right to know!" Kay regretted her words as Jessica dissolved into a fit of tears.  
  
"It's Charity," Jessica said as she wiped away tears, "something happened. I don't really know yet, but she's sick or something. She just passed out."  
  
Kay's face became stony as Charity's name was spoken. Her voice took on an emotionless monotone, "Oh, okay."  
  
In the back of her mind her conscious screamed compassion, but thoughts of Charity's thievery of her life crept in and turned her emotions cold. She could see the sadness in both Miguel and Jessica's eyes as they stared at her surprised by this sudden chill.  
  
"Maybe you guys should go to the hospital," started Kay as she stood up, "I'm feeling awfully tired. I think I'll just go home and sleep."  
  
Miguel shot her a look of disbelief as she walked past him and out the door. He glanced at Jessica and she shrugged her shoulders. Miguel's mind was a jumble of confusion as he ran out the door after Kay.  
  
Jessica collapsed onto the seat and clutched a tissue in her hand as she swept away her tears. She hated herself for not telling the full story, but she knew that was up to Charity. She had no right to interfere with her decisions.  
  
Jessica sniffled more. She couldn't believe the coldness that Kay's voice and features had taken on or maybe she could. They'd talked about so much, but there were still things that neither knew. Jessica had simply dismissed Charity's fainting as some melodramatic act at first, but now she knew that it wasn't so simple.  
  
She found herself standing and running out the door after Miguel and her sister. She couldn't stop; she just had to tell them the truth. She had to tell them that Charity may be facing the last months, weeks, or even days of her life.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Kay could hear feet pounding the pavement behind her. She put on more speed trying to escape her pursuer. She glanced back to see who was following her and was surprised that it was Miguel. As she turned forward to continue she felt her foot catch and her legs give out.  
  
She cursed under her breath and then looked up as Miguel finally reached her. She took deep shallow breaths and then began to speak, "What are you doing Miguel? I'm sure Charity needs you. Go to her, don't just stand here and watch me, go to her."  
  
Kay last words came out in a huge rush as Jessica reached the two. Jessica's eyes shone with emotion as she looked at both of the people in front of her. She hated this, this feeling of absolute burden that she always seemed to be saddled with. People expected the world of her, but they gave nothing in return.  
  
Jessica stopped her thoughts for a moment as the selfishness in her mind registered. She shook her head to clear the thoughts away and then spoke, "I'm sorry to bring this news you guys, I really am, but things are worse than you might think."  
  
Miguel and Kay looked at Jessica as if she was some foreign creature, not recognizing her at first. As Miguel realized what Jessica was saying he prodded her on with his eyes.  
  
Jessica took a deep breath before continuing, "When I left the doctor wasn't sure what was wrong, but well..." Jessica trailed off for a second trying to find a tactful way of finishing her statement, "...well Miguel, the prognosis doesn't look good. She could very well die."  
  
Miguel felt as if the breath had been pulled from his body. He felt as if he was a Benedict Arnold, a traitor. Here he had been sitting with his girlfriend's cousin, thinking of how much he wanted her love and Charity had been laying in some hospital bed dieing.   
  
Kay sat on the ground where she had fallen her eyes glazing over. At that moment she felt like such a selfish person. No matter how much Charity had hurt her in the past they were cousins. Kay felt as if death were haunting her and she wondered if everyone she came in contact with were destined to die.  
  
Kay took a deep breath trying to gain strength and then stood. She looked at Miguel who seemed to be in a daze and then reached out for him.  
  
Miguel jumped as Kay's arm came around his waist and hugged tight. "Let's go," she whispered, "Charity's going to need us." Kay took Jessica's arm and they began walking down the street.  
  
(9 months later)  
  
Kay jerked awake as a hand came down onto her shoulder. She looked up and smiled wearily at Miguel and then looked over at her cousin.  
  
Charity's pale face seemed sunken and so small in the large pillow. The blonde hair Kay had always envied was gone and the face that had once been a peaches and cream complexion was ashen gray.  
  
Kay's thoughts returned to a few days after Jessica had gotten Kay and Miguel from the Book Café. The doctor had called the Bennett house and informed them that Charity Standish had a possible three months to live; the tumor in her brain would not likely go away. Even with the pessimistic prognosis they decided to try chemotherapy. In the end Charity only grew sicker and sicker.   
  
Kay's mother simply went insane after the announcement. She prowled the house for months lamenting over how her hopes were now dead. That no one could fulfill her dreams because her daughters weren't good enough. Kay and Jessica had silently sat through the onslaught of words from their mother. The new- found friendship had held them through all the hurt.  
  
Two months after the "call" Jessica had come home to find their mother's body dangling from the staircase, a noose placed around her neck. A simple note that explained how Grace wanted to be with her niece forever, even in death, was the last words to her family.  
  
Kay had felt obligated to take on the care of her cousin and had done so with help from her sister and Miguel. Miguel hardly left Charity's side and Kay came to admire this devotion. As the months went on she felt herself once again feeling the same thrill pass through her body when Miguel entered the room. She kept quiet though because she knew that these last few moments of Charity's life must be lived in peace.  
  
"Kay," Miguel said, pulling her out of thoughts, "you can go now if you want."  
  
Kay smiled softly at Miguel and stood up stretching. "Thank you Miguel. I'll go get a burger or something from the cafeteria."  
  
Kay stepped out of the room closing the door behind her. She strode purposefully down the hall. In the past few months her life had been spent in the hospital, but she wouldn't give up any of the time she has spent here.  
~~~~~  
Miguel watched the door close behind Kay and was surprised to hear Charity's raspy voice, "Miguel, please get me some water. I have a lot to talk about with you."  
  
Miguel got Charity's water and then pulled a chair up next to the bed. Charity's next words surprised him more than he could imagine.  
~~~~~  
Kay sat at a table absent-mindedly dipping her fries in ketchup. She knew Charity didn't have long to live; frankly she would be glad if Charity died soon. No one deserved to go through so much pain before dieing. Life should be spent outside for picnics or playing on jungle gyms or swings. Life was never meant to take place in a bed.  
  
So much had happened between her and Charity. Some secrets had been revealed, mostly Charity's secrets. Kay still couldn't believe that Charity had been jealous of her. Charity had been insecure of the friendship she and Miguel had before Charity came to town. Charity loved him dearly, but there was so much he had never told her.  
  
Charity also saw the way Miguel had looked at Kay. It was different from the sweet love in his eyes as he gazed at Charity. His eyes became fiery and passionate when he talked to Kay. All of this had scared Charity so much.  
  
Kay stood up and threw away her trash. She began making her way back to the hospital room. She was still in disbelief about all Charity had said, but she was glad that they had cleared the air between them.  
  
As Kay walked back into the room she felt something different. She smiled at Miguel. He gave her an almost frightened, haunting glance. He stood up quickly and brushed past her without saying goodbye.  
  
"Don't worry Kay," Charity said in a soft, raspy voice, "he has a lot to think about. You'll have a lot to think about too. I need to speak with you Kay, it's very important."  
~~~~~  
Kay let herself out of the room as medical staff filled it. They were trying to bring Charity back, but she knew it was no help. She had left to take her place among angels and nothing would bring her back.  
  
Kay slid to the floor letting her tears flow freely. Her mind was filled with so much and she couldn't handle it all. Charity had been right she had so much to think about and she needed time.   
  
Jessica found her there later and became worried. Kay's face was drawn and harsh; it scared her so much.   
  
When they got home Jessica ordered Kay to sleep. She complied easily, but her sleep was full of thoughts as she tossed and turned all night long.  
  



	9. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Same as before applies  
  
Epilogue  
  
Kay ran to catch up with Miguel, her long hair flowing behind her.  
  
"Miguel I really need to speak with you." Kay called out, her black skirt hindering her running.  
  
Miguel slowed down and turned to face Kay. His face was blank and emotionless and the lack of some sort of recognition hurt her.   
  
Miguel softened his features as the hurt registered in Kay's eyes. He didn't want to cause her any pain, he loved her too much for that, but he knew that the feeling wasn't reciprocated.  
  
"Miguel please, I need to speak with you." Pleaded Kay, "Why won't you speak to me? You've been ignoring me ever since that day." Kay remembered how Miguel had hurried out of the room, ignoring her.  
  
"Kay there's just to much to say," Miguel spoke in a dry tone, "I don't know what to say too you."  
  
"Miguel," Kay began hesitantly, "I know that you miss her, but you can't just forget all your friends because of that."  
  
"If you only knew." Miguel's voice was bitter, "It wouldn't be so bad if it was just because I missed her. The problem is you Kay. I can't..."  
  
Kay felt a sob build in her throat, "I'm sorry Miguel. I won't bother you anymore." She turned to walk away, but was caught by the firm grip around her wrist.   
  
Miguel gently pulled her to him and kissed her softly on the lips. Kay felt as if her heart would stop and then returned the kiss. As she responded Miguel deepened the kiss.  
  
Kay finally pulled away from him and touched her lips with her fingertips. She stared at him, her eyes betraying all emotions.  
  
"Kay," he began, his voice quavering from the emotion he felt from the kiss, "that day when I left the room I was confused. Charity had told me something that left me reeling. I think she knew it was her last day on earth."  
  
He cleared his throat before continuing, "She told me to pursue my true feelings. She wanted to leave this world knowing that I would be happy and she knew that meant I had to be with you. She told me not to feel guilty and to take the love you were offering. I couldn't really believe her because I thought you were still in love with Michael." His head lowered to the ground and he scuffed at the grass with his shoe. At that moment Kay could seem him as a little child once again.  
  
Kay's eyes swam with tears and her voice was husky with emotion, "Miguel, she told me some of the same things. She gave me her blessing to love you without guilt. I was already falling for you again and she could see it in my eyes. That was right before she died. I thought you loved her so much that I didn't want to tear you from your feelings."  
  
"I will always love Michael, he was my savior, but I love you with so much passion Miguel. I saw how much you cared for Charity, how you didn't want to leave her and I loved you even more for it." finished Kay.  
  
They stared into each other's eyes. Both feeling so much relief at releasing their feelings and they both leaned in to kiss. The depth, feeling, love that passed through this one meeting of lips was fiery.   
  
As they pulled apart, they took each others hands and walked towards the future. Both whispering soft goodbyes to loved ones who had shaped part of their life and hello to a new romance of the future.  
  



End file.
